Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Burn is coming to town...

He's been talking shit about it for a long time now -- and now I've got to go to Berlin to see him. I haven't been there in a while. Actually, I don't remember anything about my times in Berlin. Maybe it's time to start something new. Absolutely, it's time to start something new. Burn is coming to town.

He wrote me at some point and told me he gave our book to the guy who wrote that book that that cunt Oprah bastardized. I shouldn't call her a cunt. I don't know Oprah. I don't want to fucking know Oprah. Frey, that's the guy's name and I never read his book but I certainly heard about it. I remember hearing from people that I should read the book when it came out, when it became an obsession - from people who thought it would help me get over my "problems." My "problems." Fucking wow. A Million Little Pieces. I read the wiki article on it and on him because I think in the end, me and Burn are going to have to meet him - because I feel like we are going to need him - a bright shining star to help us shine because I feel like that's how it works. That has to be how it works.

Or not, I don't fucking know. Burn keeps sending me these shorts that he says he wants to go shoot and make and bring me to life. I don't know what to say about that. He says he wants to being Jenny to life - to make her real - as if she wasn't real enough already, as if everything that happened between her and me wasn't real enough already. I don't know what to tell him. I think so much of everything is so fucked up. Burn is coming to Berlin and I am going to meet him. It's strange to think about. It makes me nauseous. Fucking nauseous because of the promises we made - because of the world we have to live up to. And now every time I see him, I have to become all and everything I am capable of and I think he feels the same way. We would be crazy if we told you that this was light...any of it...any of the time.

He said we might need a new chapter. Might. I guess it depends on how this turns out. I'm worried. Because at times I have no control, and I'm afraid about bringing him in on that...pretty Burn, safe Burn, collected Burn.

We have no choice but to rip this apart - any part of the world that dare host us. Berlin. Hello. Here we come.

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